


A Rumor

by Galaxy_Raven



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Pranks, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-08-27 23:25:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16711999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxy_Raven/pseuds/Galaxy_Raven
Summary: Hela Lavellan, Sera, and Dorian start a rumor.Based on this tumblr prompt: https://daydreamingdragonage.tumblr.com/post/179845878703/sera-and-dorian-start-a-rumour-in-skyhold-that





	1. Chapter 1

**Skyhold, 9:41 Dragon – 2 nd Floor Library**

 “Yeah, Solas was very judgmental of our relationship.” Hela Lavellan complained to her friend.

“Could it be because you flirted with him?” Dorian asked, raising his eyebrow.

“I flirt with everyone! I flirt with you!”

“Of course you flirt with me, Hela, you have taste.”

“I just, I want to get back at him.”

“Who, Inky? Does someone need an arrow in the face?” Sera asked, swooping in from the side.

“Hey, honey, no, nothing that extreme. I was just telling Dorian about Solas being a stick-in-the-mud about our relationship.”

“Old elfy himself, huh?”

“Yeah. Have any ideas?” Hela looked at her best friend and her lover, hopeful.

“Well, we could order tea for him every day. Tell the servants not to bring him anything else. He hates tea.” Dorian suggested.

“We could drop something on his shiny head! Like a rotten egg! Ha! Egg on the egg!” Sera chortled.

“No that’s not it…nothing that could be so directly traced to us.” They sat and considered for a few minutes. “Wait, I know what to do! Oh, this is perfect!”

“Well, are you going to share your brilliance with us?” Dorian asked, mindlessly stroking his mustache.

“It was actually what Sera said that inspired me. His shiny, shiny head.” Hela said, rubbing her hands together at her scheme, her elven ears twitching in her excitement.

“Come on, Inky! Tell us!” Sera complained, flopping over the arm rest of the chair to lay across her lover’s lap.

“Okay, so here is the plan.” She motioned them in closer. “We spread a rumor through Skyhold that rubbing Solas’s head will bring luck.” She leaned back, a mischievous grin on her face.

The other two processed her idea and then they joined her, sharing impish looks.

“That is dastardly.” Dorian said. “I love it.”

“Inky has the best plans!” Sera exclaimed, rising just enough to kiss Hela loudly and dramatically. Hela just laughed and kissed her back.

Oh yes, this was going to be fun.

**

They had carefully planted the rumor around Skyhold, dropping hints in the tavern and the courtyard, among the recruits and servants and anyone who would listen. Dorian and Sera even staged an elaborate meant-to-be-overheard interaction in the main hall, which involved some extravagant lies and tales of re-grown hair.

However, they had yet to see the fruits of their labors. They had recently returned from the Emprise du Lion and they were hoping for someone to actually do it, to act on the rumor.

Sera and Hela were lounging in Sera’s tavern room, lazily doing nothing, when Dorian entered, his face delighted. He looked like the cat who ate the canary.

“What has you in such a good mood, Dorian?” Hela asked, her head resting in Sera’s lap as her love played with her hair.

“You won’t believe it!”

“Won’t believe what, Dori-butt?” Sera asked.

“What an atrocious nickname!” Dorian said, but quickly refocused. “Our rumor has finally landed and in the best way!”

Hela sat up straight, “No! Tell us everything, right now, Dorian!”

Hela and Sera leaned in close to him, both eager.

“Well, I was reading through a new tome from the latest shipment. Terribly dull thing, all archaic and rambling-”

“Speaking of rambling.” Sera said.

“Anyways, I happened to look down to the rotunda just when the chargers walked in. Our dear elven apostate was studying some notes, totally unsuspecting, when each and every one, starting with Krem, rubbed Solas’s head and then marched right back out, shouting that they were heading to the tavern for Wicked Grace. The man was so shocked, he didn’t even say anything, just sat still and stared after them, completely bewildered!”

Sera and Hela looked at each other and howled in laughter.

“Finally! My revenge is complete!” Hela declared.

“Truly skillfully done, my dear.” Dorian said.

“Inky! Let’s go celebrate! The Chargers are going to be pissed and cocky as hell! It is going to be a grand night!” Sera said, jumping around.

“Perfect! Let’s go!” Hela pulled Dorian and Sera with her, laughing all the way.

**

It was going better than she planned. Over the next week, several other instances occurred. Sera and Hela had taken to hiding on the second floor with Dorian.

So far, they had seen a servant, a recruit, and even an Orlesian noble rub Solas’s head. It was glorious. Solas twitched every time someone entered the rotunda now.

One day, as Hela was walking through the rotunda, she was up close to witness Solas grab the hand of the most-recent would-be luck-seeker. “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.”

The startled boy pulled back and quickly ran out, mumbling apologies.

Hela tried to muffle her laughter behind her hand, but she failed. Solas turned to her and cocked his head, considering.

“Lethallan, do you know what this is all about?”

“Of course not, Solas. Why would I know anything about it?” Hela said, laughter still clinging to her words.

Solas raised his eyebrow at her, disbelief in his eyes.

“Well, perhaps I know a thing or two about it. But, hypothetically speaking, if someone was rude about someone else’s relationship and judged them for their own choices, then, hypothetically, that person might want to make the other person pay for being rude and judgmental.”

Solas worked through her words. “I see. Lethallan, I did not intend to hurt your feelings. I was simply…surprised on your choice in romantic partner. Ir abelas. Forgive me, please.”

Hela thought for a minute and then rushed up and gave him a big hug, “You are forgiven, Solas.”

She really did forgive him, but…

Hela felt him relax in her embrace. Before he knew what happened though, she quickly reached up and rubbed his head, then leapt away.

As she ran from the room, she screamed up to Dorian and Sera (and anyone else in the library), “I got the luck!”

Her raucous laughter echoed through the room, leaving Solas sighing and rubbing his own head. Perhaps he should watch what he said to the inquisitor…or perhaps find a way to get even.


	2. The consequence of pranks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In response to the tumblr prompt: You need to sleep.  
> I felt this was a good follow up to "A Rumor."

They were both stumbling, leaning on each other and giggling.

After they left the Herald’s rest, it had seemed like a good idea to go back to Hela’s quarters and it wasn’t until they were at the doorway to the stairs in the great hall that they realized they should have gone to Sera’s room. In the tavern. Up one flight of stairs.

They stopped giggling.

“Ass-tits. Why’d they put so many freakin’ stairs here?” Sera said, staring up at the many flights before them.

“Truly a fault in the architecture.” Hela bemoaned, regretting challenging Varric to a drinking contest.

It seemed like a good idea at the time... And then Bull and Dorian joined them. And the Chargers. Cullen and Cassandra were even there.

With such a crowd, she couldn’t back down. They couldn’t back down. But looking at the obstacle between her and her bed, she kinda wished she had.

“Think Josie will mind if we use the sofa in her office?” Hela asked.

“Won’t do. She’ll wake us up at dawn.” Sera said.

“Fair.” Hela glared at the stairs a second more, wondering if there was a spell to make towers shorter. Maybe she should ask Solas…

Refocusing, she saw that Sera was slumped down on the bottom step. “howboutrighthere.” She mumbled.

“Come on. We can do this. Together.” Hela said, leaning against the railing and tugging at her girlfriend’s arm. “Let’s do this.”

“Ugh. Fine.”

It took them twenty minutes to reach the top, half the time crawling up. At the second landing they almost gave up. But, they finally reached the top.

And…

The door was locked…

And the key was no where to be found.

What…?

She thought back to the tavern and she got a sinking feeling in her stomach. She vaguely remembered Solas joining them briefly, towards the end of the drinking challenge.

“Fen’harel’s fucking ass! It was Solas!” Hela muttered angrily.

_And that clever asshole had the nerve to wish us luck!_

“Don’t worry, Inky, I got this!” Sera said, hiccupping. She leaned down to the lock, taking out a few pieces of metal and wiggling them around.

After 10 minutes, they realized it was hopeless. They were stuck.

“Think we can make it down the stairs?” Hela asked and immediately knew the answer was no. “Forget I asked.”

“I’m gonna paint dicks on his murals.” Sera said, slumping down, her back against the door, but started giggling. “Really. Big. Dicks.”

Hela joined her. “You need sleep. I need sleep. Plot revenge tomorrow.” They sat there, too tired and too drunk. “Although, what if we just paint dicks on his head?”

 “YES!!! All over his stupid bald ass head!” Sera said, throwing herself across Hela’s lap. “I love you, Inky!”

Hela laughed. “I love you, too.” She shifted slightly, getting as comfortable as she could. Hazy revenge in place, alcohol thrumming through their systems, they fell asleep against the locked door.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments below!


End file.
